Jimmy Kimmel didn’t just crack jokes Tuesday night, he ripped the curtain back on what he says is Donald Trump’s oldest, laziest, and most effective con. And then he offered a solution so simple it almost hurts.
According to Kimmel, Trump is doing what he always does when an uncomfortable story surfaces: detonating chaos on purpose. This time, the backdrop is the release of new files tied to Jeffrey Epstein, the late convicted sex offender who once counted Trump as a close friend.
“It’s the kind of story that makes headlines, and he knows that,” Kimmel explained during his monologue. “So what he does is he bombards us with a dozen other crazy things to try to flood the zone.”
Kimmel didn’t sugarcoat it. Trump overwhelms the media with noise because it works. “There’s only so much we can take in,” he said. “So to distract us, right now, one of the things he’s doing is suing everybody.”
Exhibit A: Trump’s latest stunt — a lawsuit seeking $1 billion in alleged damages from Harvard. It’s loud, ridiculous, and perfectly engineered to dominate headlines while more damaging stories get buried.
But instead of treating the move like a serious legal threat, Kimmel proposed a radically different approach: stop playing along.
“There’s an easy way out of this,” Kimmel said, offering Harvard some unsolicited but razor-sharp advice. “Just give him an imaginary degree of some kind.”
“Give him an award for his magnificent brain and penis, and this all goes away,” he dded.
Kimmel didn’t stop there. He even workshopped the prize. “Give him the first annual Donald J. Trump Penis Brain Prize,” he said. “Problem solved.”
The punchline landed because it wasn’t really a joke. It was an observation. Trump’s public meltdowns aren’t about policy, law, or accountability — they’re about ego. Stroke it, and the tantrum ends.
Watch Kimmel’s Tuesday night monologue below:
