In case you were wondering how weird things could still get: Yes, Donald Trump just hosted an “Antifa Roundtable” at the actual White House. And no, it wasn’t satire. It was somehow worse than you’d imagine.
Let’s begin with the obvious: Antifa isn’t a thing — not in the way this event pretended. It’s not a club, not a formal organization, not something you can “take down brick by brick.” It has no leader, no mailing list, and no HQ. But that didn’t stop the Trump administration from gathering a roundtable of loyalists, influencers, and conspiracy theorists to talk about how they’re going to defeat it anyway.
A Press Release from the Upside Down
The clown show started before the cameras even rolled. At noon, the White House dropped a press release quoting anonymous Portland residents — including a “man,” a “woman,” and a “business owner” — all seemingly begging for military intervention in their city. One anonymous speaker allegedly said: “I kind of support it 110%.” Really rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?
That bizarre set-up served as the pre-game for the main event, a 3 p.m. live roundtable in which Trump and friends launched into what can only be described as state-sponsored delusion.
“We Got Rid of Free Speech”
Trump opened the circus with a barrage of conspiracy theories and soundbites that would make even Alex Jones go “maybe chill a bit.” According to the president, “paid anarchists” are trying to “destroy our country,” and they’re clearly being backed by some shadowy deep-pocketed villains because protesters are allegedly carrying “signs made of expensive paper with beautiful wooden handles.”
What followed was a stream-of-consciousness monologue where Trump casually bragged: “We got rid of free speech,” citing flag burning as justification. Yes, the President of the United States said that. On live TV.
Then came the threats: “We have a lot of records already, a lot of surprises, a lot of bad surprises” in store for anyone aligned with anti-fascism. Let that one sink in: threatening legal or state action against people who are, by definition, opposed to fascism.
The Right-Wing Hits Keep Coming
Attorney General Pam Bondi, a regular in Trumpworld, chimed in to say the quiet part out loud: “We’re not going to stop at just arresting people in the street.” Her plan? To “take down the organization brick by brick” and “destroy the organization from top to bottom.” An impressive goal, considering Antifa has no organizational structure to destroy.
Then came Kristi Noem, somehow both a governor and full-time culture warrior, declaring Antifa had “infiltrated our entire country” and was set on destroying “the American people and their way of life.” You’d think she was talking about Hydra.
In full Homeland Security cosplay, Noem declared Antifa members to be “just as dangerous” as MS13, ISIS, and Hamas. Her stated goal? “Making sure they never see the light again.” This, from the same woman who once said she “stared down” Antifa, when the footage in question showed her posing dramatically in front of… a guy in a chicken suit and two photojournalists.
“You Will Be Crushed by the Constitution”
And then came the influencers.
Brandi Kruse — self-described former sufferer of “Trump Derangement Syndrome” — took a moment to share her rebrand arc, saying: “I’m happier, I’m more healthy, I think I’m even a bit more attractive.”
Jack Posobiec, who once helped push the deranged “Pizzagate” theory and got removed from a family pizza joint for filming a child’s birthday party, added a history lesson no one asked for. According to him, Antifa “has been going on for almost 100 years … going back to the Weimar Republic in Germany.” A curious choice, considering Antifa’s early iterations were quite literally opposing the rise of Nazi fascism.
Historical nuance clearly wasn’t on the agenda.
At one point, someone on the panel turned toward the hypothetical Antifa member in the room and declared: “You will be crushed by the Constitution.” There’s something especially surreal about invoking the founding document while actively undermining the freedoms it’s supposed to protect.
The Point Isn’t Reality — It’s Power
Let’s not beat around the bush: this wasn’t about Antifa. It was about sending a message.
This roundtable, this made-for-TV paranoia play, was about creating a boogeyman that justifies state repression. You don’t need facts when you have fear. You don’t need a real enemy when you can make one up. And you don’t need a law when the court of public opinion has already been primed to accept that anyone wearing black and holding a protest sign is part of a terror cell.
The goal is not to win an ideological war — it’s to intimidate, distract, and punish dissent. The constant mentions of “people with money” funding Antifa, the jabs at protest organizers, the warnings of “bad surprises” — this is about scaring people out of speaking up.
Government by Fan Fiction
There was a time when conservatism billed itself as the party of reason, of order, of clear-eyed realism. That’s long gone. What we’re witnessing now is government by fan fiction — complete with a fantasy villain and a cast of cosplay heroes determined to “save the republic” from a group that barely exists.
Instead of policy, we get posturing. Instead of solutions, we get stagecraft. Instead of governing, we get grievance.
And the danger of this shouldn’t be understated. When you build the machinery of state around a lie, you don’t just waste time — you start making real enemies out of imaginary ones. You start kicking down doors, passing laws, deploying force — not based on threats, but on vibes.
You start building fascism, brick by brick.
And when the people doing it say they’re here to stop the anti-fascists, don’t miss the irony. Because being anti-anti-fascist isn’t some clever rhetorical game. It’s just fascism with better lighting.
Watch the video below:
