You Get a Felony, You Get a Felony, Everybody Gets a Felony! Also, Rudy Says He’s No Snitch

Staff Writer

Rudy Giuliani wants everyone to know that knows he’s not some traitorous snitch who “flipped” on Donald Trump! Additionally, Rudy’s totally convinced that he won’t face any charges in the case after meeting with investigators.

Yes, Giuliani on Tuesday vehemently denied any cooperation with the Justice Department’s investigation into the Jan 6 insurrection and election shenanigans by his former boss. He’s on a roll with this denial game!

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that he “flipped” on the former president in the Justice Department’s investigation into the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection and efforts to undo the 2020 presidential election.

According to his political adviser, Ted Goodman, “Any speculation that Giuliani ‘flipped’ against President Donald Trump is as false as previous lies that America’s Mayor was somehow a Russian Agent.”

And get this, in order for Rudy to “flip” on Trump, he would’ve had to commit perjury!, Goodman tweeted. Like, how else could he possibly show his loyalty to the former president? Talk about putting your foot down!

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And you can trust him. After all, he said it on Twitter and it must be the gospel truth, right?

Trump, being the modest guy he is, just casually mentioned that he’s a “TARGET” in the DOJ investigation. And hey, he only has a mere four days to report to the Grand Jury, which, as we all know, clearly means they’re going to arrest and indict him. Classic!

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Of course, Kevin McCarthy is there to back Trump up, pointing fingers at the Biden administration and screaming “political motivation” like it’s the latest conspiracy theory. Because, you know, Trump’s poll numbers were soaring, right? Totally believable!

And let’s not forget that Trump is already collecting indictments like trading cards! He’s been charged in two other cases, and now Georgia is joining the party! Giuliani, too! These guys are just racking up those legal points!

But wait, there’s more! Michigan’s attorney general is joining the fun and charging 16 Republicans with felonies for playing fake Trump electors! Felonies for everyone! You get a felony, you get a felony, everybody gets a felony!

All in all, it’s just another day in Trump-world. Denials, political finger-pointing, and a sprinkle of indictments here and there.

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