Jon Stewart lit into both Republicans and Democrats in a furious monologue on The Daily Show, calling out what he sees as shameless hypocrisy, political cowardice, and a massive handout to the wealthy dressed up as legislation.
His target? What Trump dubbed the “Big Beautiful Bill”—a 970-page monster that slashes aid to the most vulnerable while blowing a $3.4 trillion hole in the federal deficit.
“Holy shit!” Stewart exclaimed. “You somehow managed to severely cut the safety net and expand the deficit. That’s impressive.”
He didn’t stop there. Drawing a brutal analogy, he joked, “That’s one of those, ‘Hey man, how did you gain all that weight?’ ‘Ozempic.’ That’s something that’s hard to do. ‘I’m on Ozempic, and now I’m really fucking fat!’”
While programs like healthcare and food assistance get gutted, Stewart pointed out who really wins: “Even though some of our nation’s most vulnerable are taking a pay cut, fear not, other people are getting a raise.”
One glaring example: the $150 billion boost to ICE.
“Are you telling me all this crazy shit that has been happening is broke ICE? What is ICE going to do when they have real money?” he asked, dripping with sarcasm.
But Stewart’s outrage wasn’t just for Republicans. He blamed the entire political machine.
“The bill encapsulates a ton of general Washington bullshittery,” he said, calling out GOP lawmakers who rushed it through with zero time for debate—after years of whining when Democrats did the same.
“When it happens to them it’s shoving it down their throats,” he sneered. “When it’s for Republicans, it’s just, ‘Come on, America. Relax the glottis. Breathe through your nose.’”
Democrats caught hell too. Stewart slammed their lack of resistance, ridiculing Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.
“Tell me you didn’t just brag about changing nothing about the bill but its name,” he groaned. “Are you trying to suck? Is that what this is? That’s your move. We worked hard and took out the dumb name of the bill and named the bill after a prestige drama on Hulu.”
Republican hypocrisy got a full roasting. Stewart singled out Sen. Josh Hawley, who pretended to care about Medicaid cuts, then voted for the bill anyway.
“Did you act like a [working-class] Josh? Did you?” he mocked.
Sen. Ron Johnson’s concerns about “stealing from our grandchildren”?
“You’ll never guess who accepted it,” Stewart deadpanned.
Then came Rep. Tim Burchett, who swooned over Trump like a kid on a field trip.
“He signed a bunch of stuff for you. Was that your class’s first trip to Washington? He gave us M&Ms. I’ll vote whatever he wants me to vote for. He signed my tits!”
Stewart’s message: all the outrage is fake. The cave-ins are real.
“The only difference between that vote and wrestling is that wrestling is fun and takes actual courage,” he said.
He argued the bill is a symptom of a broken system, where the rich get richer while working Americans get crushed.
“This bill is the most fucked-up performance review our country could ever deliver,” he said. “It’s the government sitting us all down and telling us where we’ve been irresponsible with the spending.”
The real blame, Stewart warned, is being dumped on the poor and immigrants—not the people writing the rules.
“Blaming migrants and the able-bodied poor is why Trump won this election,” he said. “For all the people who are worried about [Zohran] Mamdani’s socialist tendencies, guess what? He’s the best-case scenario, because this system is not sustainable. And if this doesn’t change, there’s gonna be more drastic action.”
Watch the full segment on Comedy Central below.
