California Governor Gavin Newsom’s office took aim at Donald Trump this week using the president’s own playbook — over-the-top medical praise — and dialed it up to eleven.
Just hours after the White House published a letter from Trump’s physician declaring the 79-year-old to be in excellent health following a “preventative” MRI, Newsom’s team fired back with a parody so on-the-nose it barely needed explanation. Written by the mysteriously credentialed “Dr. Doolittle,” the faux report portrayed Newsom, 58, as nothing short of superhuman — “the healthiest person alive and ever to live.”
From there, the satire only got sharper. Newsom’s arteries were described as “shimmering,” while his resting heart rate was reportedly “so steady that the EKG machine asked if he was ‘meditating or just naturally enlightened.’” The letter didn’t try to hide what it was riffing on: Trump’s infamous 2015 doctor’s note proclaiming he would be “the healthiest president this nation has ever seen,” a letter the physician later admitted Trump dictated himself.
Newsom’s office insisted it doesn’t usually comment on the health of other elected officials, but said the timing of the White House’s release made the temptation impossible to resist. And the swipe was unmistakable.
“We’ll simply note that Governor Newsom completes full workdays without falling asleep in meetings, does not require ‘executive time’ to lie down and watch TV during work hours, and is able to stand upright without looking like the leaning Tower of Pisa,” the letter said.
Since Trump returned to the White House in January, Newsom’s social media operation has fully leaned into trolling mode — memes, mockery, rage-baiting, even mimicking Trump’s own post style. No topic has been off limits, especially Trump’s physical and mental fitness, which has been a magnet for speculation for years.
The White House insists Trump’s MRI results are “normal.” But skepticism continues to simmer, fueled partly by a public increasingly distrustful of the president’s health disclosures. Critics still remember how Trump downplayed the severity of his first Covid-19 infection in 2020 and has routinely accused others — most notably Joe Biden — of hiding medical issues.
So when Trump’s MRI results dropped, Newsom’s office didn’t miss the chance to flip the script.
“If a side-by-side health chart were released, we recommend redacting it for the President’s emotional well-being,” “Dr. Doolittle” wrote — a final jab that made the point clear.
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