Eric Trump took to Newsmax this week to offer up what might be the most bizarre, unintentionally comical defense of his father yet—this time over a crude birthday card allegedly sent to Jeffrey Epstein. The sketch, reportedly drawn by Donald Trump for Epstein’s 50th birthday, features a naked woman with the president’s signature placed where her pubic hair would be. If that sounds too wild to be true, buckle up.
“I can tell you my father does not sketch out cartoon drawings,” Eric Trump told Newsmax host Carl Higbie with a straight face. Except… his father absolutely does sketch cartoon drawings. Several Trump doodles—including crude skyline sketches—have sold for thousands at auction. So, strike one.
The birthday card, which was first reported by The Wall Street Journal back in July, became a hot topic again after the full letter surfaced publicly on Monday. Epstein’s estate handed over a batch of documents to the House Oversight Committee, which included the infamous 2003 note. In it, there’s an imagined dialogue between Epstein and Trump, surrounded by a hand-drawn, nude female figure. And the cherry on top? Trump’s scrawled signature, used like a marker for genitalia.
Trump’s legal team and White House allies have been in full damage control since the card resurfaced. Trump has denied ever writing or drawing anything, calling it a “fake thing” and launching a $10 billion lawsuit against The Wall Street Journal, its reporters, and even Rupert Murdoch. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt is toeing the line: “It’s very clear President Trump did not draw this picture, and he did not sign it.”
Leavitt even declared, “The latest piece published by the Wall Street Journal PROVES this entire ‘Birthday Card’ story is false,” despite the actual card being right there in black and white.
Meanwhile, others in Trumpworld have floated more… creative explanations. Some Republicans have suggested the signature was forged using an autopen. “It’s so easy to do,” Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN) told CNN. “I just don’t buy any of it right now because we have a prior administration that has a history of dishonesty.”
After parroting the already debunked claim that his dad doesn’t draw, Eric pivoted to the classic MAGA playbook: blame Epstein’s lawyer, deflect, and cry media conspiracy. “I mean, it’s insane, not to mention Epstein’s lawyer said he asked specifically about Donald Trump, and Donald Trump never once came up,” he said. “It’s ironic given that my father was the very guy that threw him out of the club because he thought he was a scumbag.”
Then came the kicker. In perhaps the most unintentionally ironic quote of the night, Eric ranted about the press: “There’s a level of dementia in the mainstream media.”
That’s the defense. The card is fake, Trump doesn’t draw (even though he clearly does), Epstein’s lawyer somehow exonerates him, and the media is suffering from collective mental decline.
Carl Higbie, who could barely contain his glee at being part of this circus, jumped in with his own logic-defying support.
“Even if you don’t read too much, and I don’t read too good, I bought [your book] because I want you to be number one just to give a middle finger to whoever is trying to keep you down.”
The saga would be absurd if it weren’t so disturbing. House Democrats aren’t laughing. After posting the letter on social media, Rep. Robert Garcia (D-CA) said: “President Trump called the Epstein investigation a hoax and claimed that his birthday note didn’t exist. Now we know that Donald Trump was lying and is doing everything he can to cover up the truth. Enough of the games and lies, release the full files now.”
Republicans on the committee are pushing back, with House Oversight Chair James Comer (R-KY) accusing Democrats of “cherry-picking documents” and stressing that Trump “is not accused of any wrongdoing.”
Sure. But here’s the thing—no one needed to accuse him of a crime for the card to be what it is: gross, embarrassing, and absolutely on-brand.
So while Eric Trump may think he’s extinguishing a scandal with Newsmax talking points and sideways autopen theories, all he’s really doing is throwing gasoline on the fire—and managing to get scorched in the process.
Watch the video below from Newsmax:
