Jimmy Kimmel came back from his summer break swinging, torching the bizarre rumor mill that briefly convinced parts of the internet that Donald Trump had died—and he didn’t let JD Vance off the hook either.
During Tuesday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the late-night host wasted no time addressing the conspiracy theories that spun out over the weekend claiming Trump had quietly kicked the bucket. The theory? Trump hadn’t been seen publicly since a Cabinet meeting on Wednesday, and his weekend calendar was suspiciously empty.
“That’s how much he’s in front of a camera,” Kimmel cracked. “When we don’t see him there, we assume he must be dead.”
It was the kind of media spiral tailor-made for Kimmel, who’s built his post-2016 monologues on dissecting Trumpian absurdity. He rolled a clip of Trump brushing off the rumors during a meeting in the Oval Office. Fox News’ Peter Doocy bluntly asked the president, “How did you find out over the weekend that you were dead?”
“Watch this,” Kimmel said, pausing the clip. “Who’s the only one smiling in that group?”
Enter JD Vance.
Kimmel zoomed in on the Ohio senator grinning in the background of the footage.
“Good old JD,” Kimmel deadpanned. “He hears the words ‘Trump dead,’ he lights up like a Christmas tree.”
“Donald Trump will never die. Forget it. He’s like Dracula,” he continued. “He’s gonna keep sucking the life out of us forever.”
It wasn’t the only rumor Kimmel cleared up. After revealing last month that he had secured Italian citizenship, social media did what it does best and ran wild with the idea that he was bailing on America altogether.
“I’m not moving to Italy,” he said flatly. “I never said that. This is where I live. This is my country. I have no intention of running away from it, especially because of Donald Trump.”
Then came the kicker: “Let me tell you something, I would move into Mar-a-Lago if I could, just to drive him insane.”
Kimmel’s ongoing war of words with Trump is hardly new. He’s been a relentless critic since before Trump’s first term began. And Trump, never one to miss an opportunity to take a shot at a celebrity critic, fired back recently, dragging Kimmel into a rant about canceled late-night shows.
“Fallon has no talent. Kimmel has no talent. They’re next. They’re going to be going. I hear they’re going to be going,” Trump said, referencing The Late Show with Stephen Colbert’s cancellation. “I don’t know, but I would imagine because they’d get — you know, Colbert has better ratings than Kimmel or Fallon.”
Of course, Trump’s beef with entertainers stretches well beyond Kimmel. His enemies list reads like a Hollywood awards show: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bette Midler, Debra Messing, Rosie O’Donnell, Robert De Niro, Bruce Springsteen. The man doesn’t forget a grudge—or let it go.
But Kimmel doesn’t look like he’s backing down anytime soon. If anything, he seems recharged.
Watch the full monologue below—Kimmel addresses the Trump death rumors starting at the 7:05 mark.
