On Thursday night, the late-night host decided that if the president is so obsessed with stamping his name on landmarks, maybe it’s time to stamp it somewhere else — specifically on the files connected to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
Kimmel’s proposal? Stop calling them the Epstein files. Start calling them the “Trump-Epstein files.”
“Trump’s name is mentioned more than a million times,” Kimmel told viewers, citing comments from Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md.). According to Raskin, he searched the unredacted files available to members of Congress for “Don,” “Donald” and “Trump” — and got more than one million results.
That was all Kimmel needed.
Instead of dancing around it, he leaned in. Every time he referenced the documents, the words “Trump-Epstein files” flashed on screen in giant letters. Subtle? Not exactly. The point? Crystal clear.
“We’re getting that trademarked,” Kimmel joked. “But you can spread it around. Feel free.”
The bit didn’t come out of nowhere. Earlier in the week, Kimmel pointed out what everyone’s noticed for years: Trump loves putting his name on things. Buildings. Properties. Anything with a flat surface and public visibility.
Kimmel rattled off examples. Trump has added his name to the side of the Kennedy Center. He’s reportedly pushing to get it on New York’s Penn Station and Washington Dulles International Airport, among other places.
So Kimmel offered what he framed as a public service.
“If that’s the way to keep him happy, why, I have another suggestion for something we could name after him, and it’s big and I think he’ll like it because it’s something everyone’s talking about,” he said Wednesday. Then he twisted the knife: “Something that he actually, unlike most everything else he wants named after him, deserves to be a part of.”
That “something,” of course, being the files tied to Epstein.
Kimmel didn’t add new allegations. He didn’t speculate. He simply seized on Raskin’s claim about how many times Trump’s name appears in the unredacted material and weaponized Trump’s own branding obsession against him.
It’s classic late-night strategy: take the thing a politician craves most — attention, flattery, legacy — and flip it upside down.
In this case, Kimmel’s message was blunt. If Trump wants his name everywhere, fine. Let’s put it somewhere “everyone’s talking about.”
And if Kimmel gets his way, you may start hearing a new phrase making the rounds: The Trump-Epstein files.
“Spread it around,” he said.
See more in his Thursday night monologue below:
