“Saturday Night Live” didn’t waste time pretending the Trump White House’s Epstein document release was anything close to transparency. In this weekend’s cold open, the show went straight after the administration’s heavily redacted file dump, turning a supposed moment of accountability into a pitch-black punchline.
Dressed up as a holiday address to the nation, the sketch zeroed in on what frustrated critics almost immediately: the White House insisted it had released everything, while ensuring the public could barely read anything at all. James Austin Johnson’s Trump impersonator leaned into that contradiction with trademark smugness, holding up a nearly solid-black document and declaring, “We released all the files, and I come out looking, frankly, very good.”
That line set the tone. The joke wasn’t subtle, and it didn’t need to be.
Trying to explain why so much of the material was unreadable, Johnson’s Trump offered an excuse that sounded ridiculous because it echoed the administration’s own logic. “Why are you putting your name on so many buildings? We had to take it off so many files,” he said. “We had so many Trumps in there, we had to put ’em somewhere.”
The sketch saved its sharpest moment for the visual reveal. “We had to redact a few sensitive things, but you’ll get the gist here,” he said, unveiling a page that was essentially a slab of black ink, interrupted only by the words “Trump… didn’t… do… nothing… bad.”
“See it’s all there, can you believe it?”
It was a brutal summary of the administration’s message: trust us, even though you can’t see anything.
“SNL” didn’t stop at Epstein. The cold open also took aim at another bizarre highlight from the real White House address — the announcement of the cross-country “Patriot Games” set to take place during the nation’s 250th birthday celebration next summer.
“I almost forgot I’ve been inventing my own ‘Hunger Games,’” Johnson’s Trump smirked.
Then the joke turned deliberately uncomfortable. “That’s right, the White House will be hosting the Patriot Games for high school athletes to compete. Because I thought, What’s the best way to distract from the Epstein files? I know invite a bunch of teenagers to my house?”
The punchline landed hard and unapologetically: “I’ll take ‘Things a pedophile might do’ for a $1000, Alex.”
By wrapping the whole takedown in Christmas cheer and presidential theatrics, “SNL” highlighted just how surreal the situation feels. A document dump promised as transparency arrived looking like a redacted ransom note, while shiny announcements and patriotic spectacle tried to pull focus elsewhere.
Watch all of “Saturday Night Live’s” very festive Trump roast below:
